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Guest Post

How to Kill Your Boss Without Getting Arrested…or Sued

By Lauren Carr

I can say with confidence that every time I make a new acquaintance who discovers that I write murder mysteries, they are bound at some point to shoot me a worried expression and ask, “Do you ever kill anyone you know in your books?”

I will reply quite honestly, “Yes.”

That’s why I have no friends.

I don’t always kill people I know. Sometimes I kill absolute strangers. Sometimes I make people who tick me off killers. Or sometimes I’ll make them just plain so nasty that everyone sees them for the evil villain they are. 

However, as anyone who is not living under a rock will tell you, and me, and any writer, to blatantly write someone you know into a book can be a litigiously dangerous operation. Yes,  

For this article, I am addressing the use of real people and situations from the artistic point of fiction. Writers can and have been sued and there have been cases in which the plaintiff has won such lawsuits. So, before you kill your mother-in-law into your next whodunit, you should do your legal research on how best to do it without getting sued.

For the sake of this article, since I am not a lawyer, I am address the creative aspects of killing her … or your boss, or your ex, or just that nasty psycho neighbor across the street arrested without ruining your literary masterpiece or getting arrested. 

Frankly, writers have every right to kill real people on paper. What writer isn’t inspired by the things, people, places, and circumstances around them? If you make all those things off limits for fear of being sued, then you are turning off the faucet for an abundance of material to draw upon.

The best writers will not write someone into a book simply because they got ticked off and wanted the world to know about it, even subconsciously (usually … mostly … okay, generally). 

Here’s why. Say you’re writing a book and your boss really ticks you off. I mean really, really ticks you off and you decide, “I’ll get her.” 

Seventy-two pages into your work-in-progress, you insert your boss. Maybe you even go back to the beginning and insert scenes with her in them.  You changed the name and maybe make her a dyed blonde with gray roots, but it’s her none-the less and you’re telling the whole world what she did to you in the subplot of your comedy. Most likely, the reader, not knowing anything about what happened between you and the boss, will come away scratching his head and wondering, “What was the point of that subplot?” 

Experienced authors use real people and situations in fiction the way an accomplished chef uses ingredients in a delightful recipe. A chef doesn’t simply throw spices in because it strikes her fancy. With the first priority being the meal, the chef will only put in that which will improve on the final experience of the diner.

Admittedly, it is not only my worst enemies who inspire me. I’ve been inspired by friends. 

For example, among all of the suspects, victims, and witnesses in Killer Deadline, the first installment in the Nikki Bryant Cozy Mysteries, there is Meredith Norris, the bright sunny meteorologist turned television host and local celebrity. She likable, pretty, and steers away from drama. Yes, she does serve a purpose in the plot. When it came to creating the character of Meredith, my mind wondered to a friend who has everything in proper perspective. Always steady and calm.

But then, I have also been inspired by total strangers.

A few years ago, while on a pit stop on the way to Snow Shoe, West Virginia, I was sitting in the car when I saw a man come out of the bathroom, purchase a soda at the machine, and go to his car. He was medium height, black hair on top of his head with gray from the temples down, like a gray strip around his head. Under a hook nose that was so huge it looked fake, his mustache was bushy and gray and he had a gray goatee. He also had a pot belly above his waist that made him look nine months pregnant and about ready to burst.

This stranger’s appearance was so intriguing that I have stored him away in my memory to use later in a book. I still don’t know what book yet. I may kill him. Or maybe he’ll turn out to be a killer? Maybe. Maybe not. You’ll need to read my books to find out.